Vocea surgrumata de maretia unei lumi.

O lume vasta si rece
Astazi vine si trece
Fuge cat mai repede
Si noi cu ea:De ce?

oare de ce?.....

Fericire...

Astazi va voi vorbi despre fericire,ce este ea?de unde vine?ce o produce?ce se intampla in corpul nostru atunci cand suntem fericiti sau de unde incepe totul?
Dar sa incepem cu inceputul,fericirea este acea senzatie extraordinara prezenta atunci cand esti in elementul tau,cand simti ca poti sa zbori,sentiment divin,euforie,cand tu esti stapanul acestei lumi vaste si atroce in acelasi timp pentru cateva clipe.Am citit niste studii in care se prezenta ce va sa fie pe secolul 21 si s-a precizat ca va fi secolul depresiilor,spre exemplu in Germania sunt cele mai multe cazuri de depresii,interesant este faptul ca in limba germana se gaseste numai un singur cuvant pentru fericire si acela introdus tarziu cam aproximativ prin anul 1230,nu am data exacta,cuvantul despre care vorbesc este "Glück" pe langa fericire acesta capatand si sensul de noroc,dar interesant este ca in sanscrita sunt prezente 12 cuvinte pentru fericire in diversele ei forme.

Acuma trecem la partea a 2 a ce o produce?Aici depinde si de individ totul poate incepe de la o vorba buna pana la un cadou sau o intamplare placuta.Singura problema este ca atunci cand apare fericirea nu ne bucuram de adevarata ei splendoare ci tindem sa o ignoram fara sa vrem.Fericirea poate incepe de la o tigara fina,fumul care iti maingaie gatul ca o mie de aripi,si ti se prelinge usor si incet pe gat in adancuri,lasandu-ti un gust fin de ozon,de tutun uscat in razele soarelui care patrunzandul o zi razele ispititoare are soarelui se lasa cu un gust simplu si sobreu de amurg.
Sau cu un pahar de vin demi-dulce,care iti starneste cele mai adanci pasiuni,mangaindu-ti buzele cu un buchet de miresme si arome,ceva animalic,ceva pasional,pervers,scurt,cutremurandu-te dandu-ti o stare de aiureala,o ameteala...asa de senzual,diabolic,sufletu-ti arde intr-o mie de patimi,dar tot nu te saturi.Si ca sa nu mai discutam de culoare,un rosu distins ca sangele pur a unei virgine atinse de divin.Ce mai?ANGELIC!
Iar acuma sa va dezvalui ce se intampla in corpul nostru.Dupa cum stiti cele mai mici impulsuri care pornesc chiar si din nervii pielii transmit informatii creierului nostru,neuronii astfel creeind legaturi depinzand acuma de emotie,sau de activitate.In centrul creierului este produsa dopamina,aceasta ne da senzatia aceea de bine,de euforie,tigara poate stimula productia de dopamina din creier de aici si senzatia aceea de bine,asa si alcoolul tot poate stimula productia de dopamina.Dar destul despre asta.Cum sa fii fericit?Vreti formula fericirii?Numai ca este o problema.Pentru a scapa de greutatea timpului care va apasa pe umeri pana cand va lovitii cumplit cu fata de asfalt si muscati din realitate,am o solutie:Imbatati-va!Cu vin,tigari,poezie sau virtute!Dar imbatati-va!

A dori prosperitate este simplu,a munci pentru ea este greu!

Buna seara,voi vorbi ineseara despre prosperitate.Prosperitatea este acel ceva care toti isi doresc sa aiba dar putini ajung la acel rang.Deoarece majoritatea oamenilor cel putin a celor care traiesc in Romania sunt siliti sa aiba un servici mediocru,sa duca o viata mediocra si sa aiba o stare psihica deteriorata.Dar asta depinzand si de individ,conform piramidei lui Maslow la baza avem nevoile fiziologice, anume cele de foame,sete,tranchilitate,si asa mai departe.Dupa aceea urmeaza nevoia de securitate care este tot foarte importanta deoarece dezvlotarea psihica si chiar fizica a unui individ depinde de securitate,cand individul nu detine o casa sau nu se afla intr-o societate protejata de legi si ordine atunci sansele ca acea persoana sa dezvolte un psihic\fizic normal sunt destul de mici si va duce la degradarea lui.Urmatoarea treapta este nevoia sociala, de aparenta si acceptare.Spre a fi acceptat orice individ trebuie sa aiba o aparenta acceptabila,numai atunci va putea primi acceptarea dar principala problema din tara aceasta este ca precum sunt multe biserici in ea asa si cu grupurile de oameni, toti suntem impartiti in sute chiar mii de grupuri de indivizi si nu ma refer la cele mici,ci la cele imense care sutn clasificate de la genul de muzica,imbracaminte,comportament,agresivitate pana la cel mai mic detaliu,libera alegere si aderarea la noi grupuri este intotdeauna posibila si pentru ca un idivid sa-si gaseasca locul trece prin mai multe grupuri,dupa care se opreste la cel potrivit.Penultima treapta este nevoia de respect si stima.Tot extrem de importanta deoarece toti cautam respectul si stima unei persoane chiar al unui grup,acesta il gasim adesea in familie acesta fiind cel mai sigur,deoarece in societate respectul se gaseste la un nivel inferior chiar minim lucru care este foarte desolant si debusolant pentru anumite persoane dar pentru altele este un mediu perfect pentru ca acele persoane doresc sa ramana transparente fata de tot ceea ce se intampla.Respectul poate fi dobandit usor sau greu, cel dobandit usor este cel care dispare cel mai usor dar cel castigat cu trecerea anilor este cel care de obicei se degradeaza mai greu,dar nu este imposibil sa ajunga la o degradare totala.Si astfel trecem la varful piramidei cea mai importanta nevoie si cea care se leaga cel mai tare de subiectul de astazi "Nevoia de autorealizare".Poate va intrebati de ce este asa de importanta?sau de ce sa-mi pese? sau cum sa ajung la ea? Dar prima intrebare care de obicei sare in mintea unora este ce este autorealizarea?Pai ea este ajungerea la un anumit statut social si spulberearea acestuia spre a evolua mai tare in acel domeniu sau in altul mai prosper in general autorealizarea este un risc asumat de indivit spre a ajunge la un punct unde are prosperitatea dorita si bunastarea pshica si fizica,ajungerea la un asemenea grad dupa cum am spus mai sus nu este imposibila,ci dificila intr-o anumita masura asta depinzand si de individ.Procesul trece de la un nimic la ceva, cei care sunt prosperi ca prin minune au si ei dezavantajele lor un om care este plin de bani nu este neaparat un om fericit.Spre exemplu avem un individ care are bani foarte multi si este fericit ca ii are dar daca acel individ va cheltui o anumita suma de bani si va strica acea suma perfecta,vazand ca scade ajunge la o disperare de a completa inapoi suma lipsa,de obicei majoritatea oamenilor bogati ajung la asa ceva.Deci ce este prosperitatea? bani multi? nu ,bunastare psihica? da,fericirea realizarii da,banii sunt un bun necesar dar epuizabil rapid pe cand psihicul si fizicul nu acesta ramane si tu decizi degradarea sau prosperitatea lui.Deci dupa parerea mea un om fericit este un om care investe banii care ii obtine cu cap, care lucreaza la un loc de munca care ii place,care se afla intr-un loc care ii place,pentru ca in general chiar luando de la maturatorul de pe strada pana la cel ce sta la birou toti sunt importanti.Deci in in concluzie trebuie sa fim fericiti cu ceea ce suntem si niciodata sa nu incetam sa riscam(sa riscam cu cap!)trebuie sa fim atenti la lucrurile cele mai insegnifiante pentru ca fix aceastea pot fi decisive in viata cuiva.Traieste o viata prospera sau mediocra este decizia ta!O seara buna.

"Poemul deshumat de ganduri"

Aerul rece gazant
Se coboara din neant
Peste bulgari de pamant
Unde oameni stau si sunt.

O,vai ce maiestrie!
Cer azur,culori divine
Petice negre plumburite
Nouri de bumbac pateaza.

Susuri reci de vant pupate
Peste ape cristaline
Mari sumbre si negre
Ape dulci si sarate.

Glaciale avanturi simt in mine
Inchise,vechi de ani o mie
Suspinuri adanci cu vise uitate
De restrangeri iar mutate.

Ah!Ce neliniste ma arde
Mii de ace,fara sa spintece
Junghi atroce de emotii
Tu!frica perversa!Fugi!

Vai ce ganduri inveninate
Navalita neprihanite in a mea minte
Creste,rece,arde!...sentimentul...
Impietrit astept sfarsitul.

Dar priveste cum dispare
Sentimentul ce era sa ma doboare
Calmul iarasi dulce briza
Sa lasat cu chiu,cu vai.

Noapte buna!

Noaptea rece se reavarsa
Pe oras si pe a mea casa
Noaptea palida ma-ndruma
Biruind a mea geana

Mintea parca tare-I sluta
Ochiul meu nu se mai uita
Buzele nu mai cuvanta
Totul sta in amorteala

Realitatea-I spulberata
Ca de fiecare data
Cu visatul nu-I de saga
Reci cosmaruri stau la panda

Si doruri si dame prind viata
Licariri,cate o fantasma
Mor toate cu dimineata
Numai in vis se-ntampla asa.

Hello again after my dramatic poem i would like to talk about something else this time,besides my boring and dramatic life.Well this is the subject that i will discuss a quote and that quote is "The city is not a concrete jungle,but a zoo for humans", wich i think its very spot on,because the world isnt getting any better,because of the people, whe cause all the destruction,well at lease here in Romania whe hit the ground and whe are still digging,i think the politicians want to achieve a new low.Anyhoo ill talk about the city...The city has many human specimens,from the stupidest to the wisest,from the avreage joe to the artist,from the lazyest to the hardworking man. So i must ask you.Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow? 'No!' says the man in Washington, 'It belongs to the poor.' 'No!' says the man in the Vatican, 'It belongs to God.' 'No!' says the man in Moscow, 'It belongs to everyone.' I rejected those answers; yes i ripped it from Bioshock Andrew Ryans speach but its a very good point.I dont know if whe will find the tranquility that whe need...MAybe someday...Althought some people are ment to be controled...but they are groing in ridiculous rate...and they become uncontrolable, they dont respect the decent clothing .A good night to you all.

Composed by me....
Afara ploua si e rece
Vremea asta,nu mai trece
Suferinta-mi,cu ardoare
Lapada-o-voi pe toata!

Caci amici nu mai exista,
Nici iubirea pura floare
Ci suspinuri is preamulte
Si otravuri si mai multe!

Lume,proasta si neroada!
Oarba si de aceasta data!
De ce-ti arzi aceasta viata?
Care vine,care pleaca?

Nu o sa te mai judec!
Caci spre aceasta cale si eu lunec
Fara sa vreau tot cad si cad
Ma radic dar tot mai cad

Ah tu lume de ce esti cruda?
Viata nu-i asa de sluta
Oameni buni gasesti o suta!
Altii rai cu numar fara

Draga lector,ce poate razi
Sau poate tot un suras ascunzi
Ma bucur,caci aceste versuri...
Pentru mine sunt sumbre si reci.

Zile sumbre si zile luminoase care m-au orbit.

Mi-am propus sa scriu in romana de aceasta data,lumea asta e un vast teren de lupta in care iti alegi o parte sau poti sa stabilesti o balanta.In ultimile zile suferinta nu a fost departe dar nici fericirea.Soarele a aparut intr-un sfarsit dupa furtuna feroce care s-a abatut asupra acestui suflet incremenit de puterea omului de a distruge tot,dar si de bunatatea si divinitatea altora.Ce pot sa va spun?Inima-mi este rece si calda...Am incercat in vremea asta de razboi numita "adolescenta" sa stabilesc un fel de armonie... o balanta intre lucruri rele si bune,si am reusit sa ajung undeva...Dar oricat ai incerca sa scapi de suferinta ea nu dispare in schimb poti sa o amortesti putin cate putin.Faptul cel mai frapant pe care l-am descoperit acum mult timp este ca chiar si cea mai mare suferinta poate fi benefica dar ulterior se poate dovedi si ucigatoare.Tocmai am terminat de lecturat "Divina comedie-Purgatoriul" si pot sa zic ca a fost exceptionala,chiar astazi am inceput sa citesc cu nesat "Paradisul"ultima parte.Stau cu sufletul la gura si deabia astept sa citesc "Faust" de Goethe,in rest buzele imi sunt pecetluite alte isprave nu am mai facut asa ca voi incheia aici si voi reveni....odata cu altceva.O zi frumoasa tuturor.

Im back

Well hello to all im sorry i couldnt post something new...I had problems with my parents, my girlfrend,my frends.I was fighting with the world well... i winned :D,i quited smoking... dunno for how long but ill see.Nowim ill staying in my home burning time getting well...ill be back tomorow or later this day to give you the latest news :).A good day to all.

hy

i didnt write for a time...i got a job, ill help others...cryptic but ill write one day the full story...sleep for now....

Hello again

First of all a pleasant night to all.Well today was a good day but there were some situations that i disliked but i didnt write for a day 2 because i had some work to do so ill try to recuperate tonight...Ok let me start again well two days ago i woke up and goed to school where i had to take care of some buisnesses with some of my teachers... im refering to the marks,a thing happened that day a coligue provoked me to do something that upseted another coligue but it didnt end in disaster after that i got some good marks at french class and my final mark for the semester was 8 and i dont know soo much french :).Overall after that i gived a notice for my gim teacher for the school year that i couldn't do p.e .The teacher read the note from my doctor understood and then i left to smoke a cigar with my friend,then i had to go home whre i sat and i ate,and wasted some time,after that i went to my girlfrend for some time, there i drank a hot chocolate and i spoke with her for some time,then i returned home whre i listened to some music and then started painting a examination portrait that i need to get to school till monday, after i finished a part of it i went to sleep.The next day at 8 am i woke up and had to go to the local commercial complex with my love to buy a pair of shoes and some smokes,well i goed and i got a pair of really god shoes they are black and are made out of animal skin,overall good quality.And then i goed with her to the mall to buy some snacks and whe goed to my home,where whe had a big fight for some stupid reasons.After that she went home, i wanted to break up with her but i gived her one last chance because she is an extraordinary girl,kind,sweet,beautyfell,and im not wrighting these lines so when she reads she could thank me for these...i wrote these lines because i really meen it she is a role model for how a woman should be.After that i stood home listening to music, playing my guitar,and reading,after that i goed to my brothers where i grabed with him some cofee and a beer, whe spoke about our politics and after that i went back home where i stood a litle watched a movie and went straight to sleep.Well today i got up at 11 am,i started the day good as i priveosly mentioned.I went to my brothers drank a cappucino and went with a frend at a bar,after that i went to my girlfrend and we went to church where whe stood one hour,and then whe goed to the marked,after that we returned to her home where whe drank some hot chocolate and had a wonderfull talk.Then whe parted i took a bus and went home.I forgot to mention the weather here is verry chilly i mean there like -20 degrees celsius,freezing,i could feel my face and hands,and when i got home i have to give my mother some batteries that she asked me to buy from the market.There where 2 normal sized batteries and my mother complained that she wanted small ones for the remote,the last time i bought batteries for the remote was a log time ago about 1 to 2 months and she didnt tell me what size, i assumed that she wanted regular.So she threw them down and went to a local store and bought the right type,i told her that i dont have a fault on behalf of this misunderstood situation, so she understood and left me alone.Well the future plans for this night will be a movie and after that ill finish the evaluation then ill catch a good sleep.Now i must be going.A pleasant night to everybody.

hello

im back again i wont do too much of a detail of my thoughts tonight because im lazy,so the usual things happened i goed to school helped my frend with something overall had a good time at school, after that whe parted and went home, i had to stay untill 3 pm at school but the teacher had something to do so she let us go si i escaped school at 1 pm when i got home, i ate and goed to sleep, and i slept until 10 pm now ill go to sleep again in some time untill then i think im going to read a book, my evaluation went well ill bring the finished painting monday morning for judging...alas now i am reading The divine comedy,i have finished the first long book that is the inferno, now i am at the purgatory, and next will be paradise, after Dante im planing on reading Faust bt Goethe, in the future maybe some more Dostoievski and some Shakespear, after these book s im reading some psychology ones,soo after i woke i ate and the i goed to my brother's apartment where i drank with him some cappucino,and talked, after that i got home. I think ill go to sleep.Yay the weekend is comming and after that i have only one more week of school and then whe get the intersemestrial break.I think ill be staying home then with my love and doing exercises sleeping singing playing my guitar painting sketching and so on, another chapter of my life closed, on the period of my vacation ill talk more about my past sufferings and what i've learned.You all have a great night.

20 january 2010 11:27 Pm

Hello,im back once more,today was an interesting day,but ill begin from the begining of the events that occured in this day.
After i leaved my brothers home at 01:00 am, i goed home and straight to bed... i didnt want to wake up at 6:30 am so i slept until 7 sharp,the problem is that my school hours begin at 7:20 and i got there at 8:00,well when i got there i found only 1 coligue,and the teacher,so i put my jacket away and grabbed a drawing bench and a
plaque,aranged mypencils my paper and so on and then went out to smoke a cigar,when i returned another teacher camed, i began my work drawing for my examination ahh the subject was and is to do a replica from a famous artist or a portrait of someone in collor, i made a girl from a art magazine, oh my God she was ugly as hell, and i did only a sketch of her to keep me busy, then something interesting happened, our class headmistress commed she was angry and shaking,i immidiatly noticed that something was wrong, today was the day when whe had to go to a place in school where the had to measure us for the new school uniforms,she shouted if whe dont go there she will not promote us at her class, ahhh by the way she is a teacher at the romanian class,well whe all goed to the room and then came the school principle and yelled at us why arent whe in and told us if whe dont buy the uniforms where expelled,can you belive that? but what can i say? Whe live in Romania and that occupies most of our time.And ill say this so you can get an ideead of what is like here "Hell's got a new name..........Romania!" it was in the past to and it still is but whatever...I dont give a dam.After that i goed back to the class continued my sketch goed again to smoke in the break,after all that i goed with my frend to the bus but before whe got to the bus stop whe smoked and luaghed a bit then when whe arived there whe said goodbye and parted,i took the bus home, it was soo crowded...that i felt like a anchovy in a big tin can,when i got home i washed my hands,dried them,and then ate something, after i goed to play the internet and to shop for some things,when i returned i drank some coffe with my brother, and after that i left back home where i played my guitar,and after that relaxed a bit with some good music,it wasnt an extraordinary day but i like it that way sometimes, i learned on my skin that i should never make promisses because you don't know what happens so you must say maybe and leave it like that :),cant wait for the 1 week vacation,after this week i have one more and i'm entering along with all the coligues in the intersemestrial break,im already making plans of sleeping,singing,playing the guitar,and so on :)
Well i should be going now see you all later and have a pleasant night.

20 january 2010 00:19 am

Well to start i am at my brother's home searching for some news,because my internet dosent work.Today i decided to make this blog.Why? Because i want to share my ideeas,thoughts and so on with everybody.
Its a sorrow day because all my frends are a lie...You think they are the best and they are for a period but then they change, they start to not give a dam when you give...
I can't say im not satisfied my girlfrend loves me where toghether for 2 years and with God s help whe will be forever but thats a diferent story.Ohhh and sorry for my not so perfect english but i think its readable.I meditated alot on these things and comed to
the conclusion that good frends are hard to find...but not impossible to find sometimes the goodest person is the badest like in the expression: The enemy of my enemy is my frend.
I tend to go with the expression "Some think life is like a river,it flows swift and sure in one direction...But i have seen the face of time! And i can tell you, they are wrong!Life is like a river in the midle of a storm you don't know what wave carries you away. Ehh someday i will find my true frend's.Now im thinking at tomorows class i have 6 hours of painting ahh yes i ommited to say i am a future artist but you can find most of what i do in the descripstion. I always wanted to have a journal but i hesitated.... from many reasons, one of them being that it can deteriorate and so on,so i decided to make a blog, my inspiration came from a movie named Julie & Julia, a great movie that happened in real life...I know this may sound nerdy... but im not a nerd i know how to have fun and so on, but the games help me burn time away.From my childhood games played a smal role but, in a good way because i played games and was a good child i didnt create any problems that effected my parrents or me, so what can i say,even games are good sometimes.Im not sleepy, a few days ago as i was walking back to my home from my brothers apartment, it was verry chilly outside and on the way i took some deep breaths of fresh cold air, when got home i went to bed and slept only 1 or 2 hours then i woke because i felt im breathing hard and i had some chils 2, when i put my thermometor it showed that my temperature is normal, and thus i didnt sleep till 6 am, at 6 15 i got ready for school,the basic eating dressing and so on, when i goed to school i stood there for like 2 hours in class form 7 am to 9 am then i goed with some of my coliegues to put our art gallery in a mall named Carrefour, so far so good i was tired but i helped everybody,the space was rented bty our school.I am at the college of art from Suceava this being in Romania. yesterday tuesday at 6 p, was the opening.My teacher called out a bunch of names of the ones that participated with the art pieces, but mine wasn t called.... and i brought to the gallery 3 sketches, those 3 where selected by the teacher herself... When i didnt heard my name a sorrow struck me.I needed soo much to hear my name as an aproval of my abilities. But it wasnt to be.Anyway after that i goed to my girlfrends house where i stood some time until 9 pm then i took the bus home.I have to wait 30 mins so that the games finish downloading and then im going to my house.Well i think i should be going now, ill return later this day to continue with my latest adventure boring facts and so on so i wish to all my listeners and future ones a goodnight.